Author Topic: Friday afternoon jokes  (Read 7751 times)

caballero

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #45 on: February 09, 2018, 01:30:05 AM »
Hello, is it the car workshop?

Well, you see, this early morning when starting the car has turned on the light of "man shitting" and I do not want to ask my husband because he always ends up getting angry with me.

It's bad? Should I take it to review?
What? You want me to send you a photo? Sure, there goes
En un lugar de la Mancha de cuyo nombre no quiero acordarme

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Siekmanski

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #46 on: February 09, 2018, 01:36:06 AM »
 :biggrin:
Creative coders use backward thinking techniques as a strategy.

Raistlin

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #47 on: February 09, 2018, 05:12:44 PM »
So the worst drought in 100 years has hit Cape Town (SA). Everyone is on the water saving bandwagon,
some to the extreme. The dam levels supplying Cape Town and surrounds are at a all time low.

This is unfortunately a TRUE story- (My imagination couldn't have come up with this crap - in my wildest dreams)
A gent phones in to the local radio station with this advice: " If every citizen could take 100 liters a day
from their taps towards filling the dams, the crisis can be averted". A follow up caller lambastes the
advice giver for an ignoramus.  He mentions the environmental impact of fuel burn and cost considerations
of driving to the dams. He doesn't blow-off the idea completely however... He suggests "rather not use water
from the taps to fill the dams - but use hot-water from the geyser".

A little later, a caller reminds everyone that AIDS might become more of a problem during this period of water shortage.
People would be contracting AIDS as they can't "shower it away".
Possibly a little bit of background is required here. The thing is, our current and auspicious, polygamist president, at a stage
raped an intern that was HIV positive. He didn't contract AIDS, because he had a shower afterwards and widely recommends
others do the same. see: https://loveworldnewsagencyblog.wordpress.com/2009/04/29/jacob-zuma-and-the-shower-head/
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K_F

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #48 on: February 10, 2018, 04:53:45 PM »
 :badgrin: :badgrin: :eusa_dance: :eusa_dance: :biggrin: :biggrin:

You see people.. this is why SA is so entertaining.. you should all come live here. :biggrin:

It's a jaw dropping exercise of disbelief, accompanied by a touch of absolute stupidity... but hey!!, who are we to judge! :lol: :lol:



'Sire, Sire!... the peasants are Revolting !!!'
'Yes, they are.. aren't they....'

Raistlin

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #49 on: February 11, 2018, 05:20:54 AM »
Erm , sorry you CAN't come live here. DID I mention
 NO WATER. My geyser is already strained......
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K_F

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #50 on: February 11, 2018, 06:28:46 AM »
This one is good.. there's an actual newspaper cutting on this - I have it somewhere  :lol:
Quote
A former Queenstown (Eastern Cape) town councillor asked one of the present councillors what the current state of affairs was regarding their water supply considering that they had not had much rain lately.

He was told it was the fault of the ‘previous regime ’.............haven’t we all heard that somewhere before?

When the previous councillor asked how he worked that one out he replied:

" You built the dams too big , so they take a long time to fill. You should have built them smaller, they would fill quicker and we would have plenty of water and never run out."......... ????
:icon_eek:

Then of course, that KFC one.. I must find that...   :icon_mrgreen:

There's a treasure trove of these really great statements from people in prominent positions...  The really funny thing is that this is not just an anomaly that you get occasionally around the world,  over here it just doesn't stop.
 :t
'Sire, Sire!... the peasants are Revolting !!!'
'Yes, they are.. aren't they....'

Raistlin

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #51 on: February 11, 2018, 06:49:23 AM »
@K_F, I really must come visit you up North.
1) To steal water.
2) To understand your mind and steal water.
3) To have a real,  "braai" & "potjie" and then steal water.
« Last Edit: February 12, 2018, 04:21:55 PM by Raistlin »
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K_F

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #52 on: February 13, 2018, 08:47:12 AM »
Why don't you just leave the taps on... coz you're too lazy to turn them off.  ;)
Sorry.. have no brains to turn them off...  :t

Understand my mind.. good luck.. married 31 years and the wife 'doesn't understand me' - I'm here to shag, honey!!, what's there to understand ?
Burn wood, drink beer and wine.. and talk about the good old days ...well yeah!  :biggrin:
 :lol: :lol: :lol:


'Sire, Sire!... the peasants are Revolting !!!'
'Yes, they are.. aren't they....'

hutch--

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #53 on: February 13, 2018, 11:39:45 AM »
Humour aside, SA may have to invest in a desalination plant. We have one here in Sydney for the odd occasion when there is drought conditions in the local area.
hutch at movsd dot com
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K_F

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #54 on: February 14, 2018, 03:51:17 AM »
Funny enough a local engineering company has constructed many desalination plants in Dubai, Israel and a few other Middle Eastern countries.

The local were not interested, and a good guess is that they could not get a cut (backhand) from the deal. This has been the cANCer's modus operandi since the first day in '94. Most 'white' SA companies have given the cANCer the middle finger and moved their operations offshore - this is due to destructive racist BEE and affirmative action policies. This effectively has taken plenty jobs away from SA - too bad the gov has no brains.

It rained heavy for an hour today and raining a bit now.. February is usually the hottest and driest month, but I took a bet around Jan15 that is will rain torrents in the last two weeks of Feb. I'll explain at the end of Feb  :biggrin:

Raistlin - I hope you realise I was commenting on the township water operations ;)
 :t
'Sire, Sire!... the peasants are Revolting !!!'
'Yes, they are.. aren't they....'

daydreamer

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #55 on: February 15, 2018, 05:30:55 AM »
This thread says friday afternoon, but lately it feels like the movie "groundhog day" :P
Maybe Finland known for the land of thousand lakes could start exporting water to Cape Town
Here in north we get much unwanted snow and ice on roads and pavements that we could send

Raistlin i hope it dont go so far you have to rename waterfront:)
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caballero

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #56 on: October 29, 2018, 03:58:19 AM »
I've just remembered a very funny joke  :bgrin: (well, at least for me ;)), but it is in Spanish and it has to be in Spanish to make sense (sorry):

marinero: ¡capitán, capitán, el barco zozobra!
capitán: bueno, mejó que zo zobre que no que zo haga farta
En un lugar de la Mancha de cuyo nombre no quiero acordarme

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Raistlin

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #57 on: October 31, 2018, 04:28:40 AM »
So here's a joke :  my life  :shock:
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felipe

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #58 on: October 31, 2018, 04:42:12 AM »
 Raistlin: :greenclp: Best joke ever!... :P
Felipe.

anunitu

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Re: Friday afternoon jokes
« Reply #59 on: October 31, 2018, 05:06:19 AM »
Funny enough a local engineering company has constructed many desalination plants in Dubai, Israel and a few other Middle Eastern countries.

The local were not interested, and a good guess is that they could not get a cut (backhand) from the deal. This has been the cANCer's modus operandi since the first day in '94. Most 'white' SA companies have given the cANCer the middle finger and moved their operations offshore - this is due to destructive racist BEE and affirmative action policies. This effectively has taken plenty jobs away from SA - too bad the gov has no brains.

It rained heavy for an hour today and raining a bit now.. February is usually the hottest and driest month, but I took a bet around Jan15 that is will rain torrents in the last two weeks of Feb. I'll explain at the end of Feb  :biggrin:

Raistlin - I hope you realise I was commenting on the township water operations ;)
 :t

Know this ALL the water we used on ships was evapped from the ocean desalinization. So it is used by most ships.


Video on how water is obtained on ships.

https://youtu.be/txziUwXd0cM