Author Topic: Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"  (Read 571 times)

Mikl__

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Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"
« on: May 09, 2020, 11:41:15 AM »
Real dialogue between Fidel Castro and Ernesto Che Guevara.
Che asked — Fidelitto, will we ever restore relations with the USA?
Fidel Castro replied — “This will happen when a Negro becomes president of America, and the Pope is just as Argentinean as you are...”


One morning, Stirlitz1 went to Müller2. Müller’s mood was gloomy. (Event takes place in 1944)
— Mr. Gruppenführer, what happened? Are Russians already in the suburbs of Berlin?
— Stirlitz, stop your stupid jokes! I had a night mare! I had a sone about  future of Germany in seventy years!
— And what? Is everything so bad there?
— Not the right word, Stirlitz! You imagine, in Germany we will have the chancellor — a woman, a former Komsomol member3. The Minister of Foreign Affairs will a homosexualist. Turks will work at the Daimler-Benz factories. Germany will pays the debts of the Greeks and Spaniards. There will mosques throughout Germany. Instead of torchlight processions — parades of homosexuals. We will pay money to the Jews and will carry out the commands of a niger from the USA! Ukraine will claims that it is at war with Russia, and Germany and France will persuade Russia not to fight !!!
"Really, it's shit..." — thought Stirlitz ...

1 — Max Otto von Stierlitz is the lead character in a popular Russian book series and of the famous television serial "Seventeen Moments of Spring", as well as in feature films, produced in the Soviet era, and in a number of sequels and prequels. Stierlitz has become a stereotypical spy in Soviet and post-Soviet culture, similar to James Bond in Western culture.
2 — Heinrich Müller (28 April 1900; date of death unknown) was a high-ranking German Schutzstaffel (SS) and police official during the Nazi era. For the majority of World War II in Europe, he was the chief of the Gestapo, the secret state police of Nazi Germany.
3 — "Kom-so-mol" is a syllabic abbreviation of the Russian "Коммунистический Союз Молодёжи" (Kommunisticheskiy Soyuz Molodyozhi), was a political youth organization in the Soviet Union and group of communist states of Central and Eastern Europe, East Asia
« Last Edit: September 12, 2020, 09:19:01 AM by Mikl__ »

hutch--

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Re: Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2020, 11:50:33 AM »
> “This will happen when a Negro becomes president of America, and the Pope is just as Argentinean as you are...”  :rofl:
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caballero

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Re: Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2020, 05:43:38 PM »
> Germany will pays the debts of the Greeks and Spaniards
Yeah, I suppose that we will have to recognize our German protectorate status, whose money will serve to establish a communist state in what is left of Spain, something wonderful if we attend to the dozens of people who, only in my neighborhood, come out every afternoon to applaud this wonderful government that, being a social-communist, has promised everyone to keep them with wonderful ration cards. There is a lady who accompanies her claps with violent movements of the head, how great  :toothy:.  Anywhere on the Moon where to go?
The logic of the error is hidden among the most unexpected lines of the program

Mikl__

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Re: Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2020, 06:04:38 PM »
¡Buenos dias, caballero!
Do not react so emotionally, this is just a joke. I think in the Spanish folklore the same there are similar jokes...
— Nostradamus pokes his cat muzzle in slippers - Why will you shitting to my slippers in 20 minutes? Why?
« Last Edit: May 10, 2020, 10:31:12 AM by Mikl__ »

caballero

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Re: Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2020, 06:16:31 PM »
Sorry. It is not an emotional reaction to your comment but taking advantage of your comment  :thumbsup:
The logic of the error is hidden among the most unexpected lines of the program

daydreamer

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Re: Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2020, 07:56:56 PM »
¡Buenos dias, caballero!
Do not react so emotionally, this is just a joke. I think in the Spanish folklore the same there are similar jokes...
— Nostradamus pokes the face of his cat in slippers - Why will you shitting here in 20 minutes?
:rofl:
Mikl
I have read something similar:1980's comments on 2010 "what happened???,the best rapper is white and the President is Black" and so on...
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Mikl__

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Re: Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"
« Reply #6 on: May 10, 2020, 10:45:33 AM »
Lily Potter is talking with a woman friend:  — You imagine this morning I broke a plate. I'm afraid this is a bad omen and it will hurt my unborn baby.
 — What superstitious you are, Lily! When my mother was pregnant with me, she broke a phonograph record, and you see that nothing happened to me, nothing happened, nothing happened, nothing happened ...
Hitler was extremely suspicious and superstitious. Once he called a fortuneteller to find out his future.
— My Fuhrer, I see in my Taro cards that you will die on the day of the Jewish holiday.
— What holiday?
— Oh, Fuhrer, no matter what day you will die, it will become a great Jewish holiday!
A man asks a fortuneteller to tell him what awaits him in the future. The gipsy threw up the cards and said:
— I warn you, one person will suddenly stand in your way!
— You will warn him better, I am a driver of “MAN”!
— Are we in the past time or in the future time? — Alice asked.
— We're in the ass hole, — the white rabbit answered.
— Is the ass hole in present time? — asked Alice.
— The ass hole is our symbol of eternity.
Dialogue between Ron Weasley and Dean of the Faculty of Gryffindor, Professor Minerva McGonagall
— Professor! I just do that sweeping the courtyards at Hogwarts. When will they begin to teach me magic?
— So the dispensing Hat decreed, and WHAT SPECIFICALLY would you like to study?
— Alchemy
— Go to the Department of Chemistry to Severus Snape
— Well then ... Planetary magic!”
— Go to the tower of astronomy to Aurora Sinistra
— Raise the dead?
— To Madame Pomfrey, study for a resuscitator.
— I want to learn spells
— Start with foreign languages
— to predict the weather?...
— Department of Meteorology
— to throw fireballs?
— Department of Physics, Department of Thermodynamics
— I do not want boring physics, I want to change its laws
— Department of Physics, Department of General Relativity ...
— Read the cards?
— Department of Psychology
— potions to cook?
— Pharmacology
— Seek places of power?
— Geography ...
— What should I do?
— Sweep further, as the Hat has allocated
— And fly away on a broomstick?
— Department of Aircraft ...
« Last Edit: September 12, 2020, 09:15:13 AM by Mikl__ »

hutch--

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Re: Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"
« Reply #7 on: May 10, 2020, 12:02:16 PM »
I like the Jewish holiday one.
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Mikl__

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Re: Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"
« Reply #8 on: May 10, 2020, 12:33:01 PM »
Hi, hutch--!
Probably the fact is that I poorly translated jokes into English. I'm the worst translator...

daydreamer

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Re: Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"
« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2020, 10:17:06 PM »
Lily Potter talking with a woman friend:  — You imagine this morning I broke a plate. I'm afraid this is a bad omen and it will hurt my unborn baby.
 — What superstitious you are, Lily! When my mother was pregnant with me, she broke a phonograph record, and you see that nothing happened to me, nothing happened, nothing
couldnt resist play with texttospeach on this  :joking:
Quote from Flashdance
Nick  :  When you give up your dream, you die
*wears a flameproof asbestos suit*
Gone serverside programming p:  :D
I love assembly,because its legal to write
princess:lea eax,luke
:)

valentind84

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Re: Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"
« Reply #10 on: September 14, 2020, 05:00:52 PM »
> Germany will pays the debts of the Greeks and Spaniards
Yeah, I suppose that we will have to recognize our German protectorate status, whose money will serve to establish a communist state in what is left of Spain, something wonderful if we attend to the dozens of people who, only in my neighborhood, come out every afternoon to applaud this wonderful government that, being a social-communist, has promised everyone to keep them with wonderful ration cards Box à Louer. There is a lady who accompanies her claps with violent movements of the head, how great  :toothy:.  Anywhere on the Moon where to go?
It's always like that with communist countries. It is the taxpayers who pay.

jj2007

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Re: Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"
« Reply #11 on: September 14, 2020, 05:08:45 PM »
Not bad for a first post. Are you here to code in Assembly, or to dump right-wing propaganda on us?

Siekmanski

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Re: Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"
« Reply #12 on: September 14, 2020, 06:14:08 PM »
Hi valentind84,

Welcome to the forum.  :thumbsup:
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caballero

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Re: Anecdotes from the cycle "memory of the future"
« Reply #13 on: September 14, 2020, 06:23:52 PM »
Hello, Valentind84. Welcome to the forum.

It is the good thing about being all equals paying lives of millionaires to mediocre ones in power. For them is a very good thing. :bgrin:
The logic of the error is hidden among the most unexpected lines of the program