Nerd humor

[hutch--]

This is a less than politically correct kid joke.

Little Johnny come home and say to his mother,

"Hay mum, you should see the mess you make of a frog when you shove a cracker up its arse."

Mother says, "No Johnny, you mean rectum".

Johnny respomded, "Yeah, you bet it wrecked 'em"

[jj2007]

Lovely compilation of Windows error messages

[Siekmanski]

My brother and I are looking for new conspiracy theories because all our old ones have come true. 

[daydreamer]

At the train station the trains stop
At the bus station the buses stop
At work i have a workstation 

Dad gives chocolates to his elder kid to share with his younger brother
He takes 5 pieces and gives 3 pieces to his younger brother
-"can you not count?" says dad
-"i can count,but he cant count" answers the elder brother

[zedd151]

At the train station the trains stop
At the bus station the buses stop
At work i have a workstation 

But when it is learned that you had stopped working early, you get called to the office: 'At bus/train stations, the buses/trains also depart'; "You have until the end of your shift to clean out your desk, as today is your last day working here"

[jj2007]

Have you, while repairing a computer, ever found anything that made your jaw drop?

I was running diagnostics and noticed how quiet it was now that it wasn’t in an industrial environment. The thing was SILENT. But some of those old 486’s did have simple heat sinks with no fan needed. The good old days. But the power supply should still have a fan, right?

So all of the diagnostics were passing, and while there was BARELY enough room to install Windows 95 and the route software, it was going to behoove everyone involved to upgrade to the bigger drive we discussed. I gathered up the CD drive, the additional sticks of RAM, the new hard drive and the Windows install disk. It was going to be a process of transferring the drive contents to the new drive, then updating to Windows (so none of the precious customer data was lost). I had strongly suggested backup of data and a clean install, but he wanted to go upgrade.

So I settled in, and grabbed my screw driver to open it up. Once the case came off, I saw why it was silent.

The case was COMPLETELY packed with dirt. I don’t mean it was dirty. I mean it was a freaking brick of dirt.

When they got the computer originally, the boss got super frustrated with it, and literally tossed it out the window. This was sometime in 1997. My dad shows up in 1998 and asks why there was a computer out in the yard and was told of the fit of throwing. My old man rescued it and brought it back inside. It had been raining, and the thing was sitting in a mud puddle for like a year, so he let it dry off for a few days and then plugged it in.

I told him he would need to stop by my place on his way to work in the morning. The look on his face when I removed the case cover was priceless

[hutch--]

These were old tricks but long long ago, when running my first Pentium, I forked out a lot of money at the time for a Philips CD reader. The only external stuff I could get at the time was direct dial up to Microsoft Australia and at 2k, you never got much then I found an ad for a CD full of shovelware and suddenly I had 600 meg of crap to literally shovel through.

RE : A box full of crap, not in the class of the one you mentioned in the mud for a year but my old monster ran for 6 years straight and when I had to pull it down, it was full of damp dust, various fiberous material, much of the boards in it were filthy so I had to pull it apart, clean all of the boards, blow anything else out and with the empty can, scrubbed the guts out of it.

It all went back together and worked OK (with a new set of fans) but PHARK it was a mess when I first opened it up.

[daydreamer]

At the train station the trains stop
At the bus station the buses stop
At work i have a workstation 

But when it is learned that you had stopped working early, you get called to the office: 'At bus/train stations, the buses/trains also depart'; "You have until the end of your shift to clean out your desk, as today is your last day working here"

Reminds me of how your looks like desk = how inside of your brain is
All things in order on desk = all things in order in brain,chaos on desk = chaos in brain
Empty desk = empty brain?   

I admit my desk look like chaos for everyone else,but I remember where I put things
@hutch
Risk of someone calls your computer "vacuum cleaner"
I cleaned my tower full of dust once, but afterwards I put duct tape in lower part and moved up to a table to avoid it get full of dust

[NoCforMe]

Reminds me of how your looks like desk = how inside of your brain is
All things in order on desk = all things in order in brain,chaos on desk = chaos in brain

You have that exactly backwards, my friend: they say a clean, orderly desk is the sure sign of an anal-retentive, unimaginative bean counter.

Here's a gallery of messy desks. I was looking for one particular picture which I though would be Bob Pease's desk, which was a real wonder: it was literally about 8 inches deep of stuff. Pease was an analog electronics wizard who ended up at National Semiconductor (known to those who worked there as "National Semicircular"). He hosted a bunch of videos, which can be found on YouTube, all with titles in the form "What's All This _______ Stuff, Anyhow?", explaining various concepts in analog electronics.

Oh, hey, found a video showing the glorious mess that was Pease's office.

[jj2007]

Reminds me of an old German saying: "Ordnung ist das halbe Leben. Das Genie beherrscht das Chaos"

Difficult to translate, it means more or less

"Ordinary people need to keep order in order to survive - genius masters chaos"

 

[hutch--]

 

> You have that exactly backwards, my friend: they say a clean, orderly desk is the sure sign of an anal-retentive, unimaginative bean counter.

I have the same view. My desk is a guy's pig stye. 

A tidy desk, an untidy mnd. 

[daydreamer]

I have good genes
Gene the plastic surgeon and
Gene the hairdresser
 

[jj2007]

A collection of comments

// I don't understand how the following bit works, 
// but it worked in the program I stole it from.
...
// I am not responsible of this code.
// They made me write it, against my will.

[Greenhorn]

 Rev. X -- The Sermon on the Mount

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5Dk8K8TBXc

[daydreamer]

Jochen nice comments