From what I gather the US Math Curriculum runs about 4 years behind that in the UK, and a lot don't even do calculus. I know I was doing trigs/logs at 11 using little books of tables, and that was a precursor to everyone doing basic differential/integral stuff at secondary school, with some of the high flyers to college level stuff before finishing.
At the college level, the standard text was Engineering Mathematics by K Stroud, I also remember Schaum's Calculus books.
At 42 you've probably got more maturity and a broader understanding how things work and relate to each other. The Dummies series would probably work, but also look at what the standard texts are being used in High School. See if there are any community college classes available, a teacher might be able to work with you in a more interactive way and probe the areas the give you the most difficultly, and get you to a eureka moment where things start to make sense. Even if you can't go to courses, may be try and connect with the teachers at an open-house.
Fish around on Amazon for cheap used math texts for high school/college level, pick up a couple and see if any suit your learning style. Books can be a bit dry, but would permit you to work at you own pace, or skim through and work on problems in your free time.