Friday afternoon jokes

[carlos]

 "Did you know about a band named "1023"? they never get any gigs. But when they changed their name to "The Terabytes" they sudenly have thousands of them" .....

Have a nice weekend  :t  :t  :t

[hutch--]

 

[aw27]

It's crazy!

[felipe]

Humorist with tough audience

 8): So, what's the favorite kind of art of cows?

 :icon_eek:: ?

 8): Muuuuuuuuuuuuusic!!!!

 :icon_eek::  :icon_rolleyes:

 8): And what's the favorite food of dragons?

 :icon_eek:: ?

 8): Chilis! That's why they spit fire!

 :icon_eek::  :icon_confused:

 8):


 :lol:

[caballero]

In a mental hospital, a mad with a paper cone on his head and one hand on his chest, approaches another mad man and says:
Mad 1: I am the king because God has told me
Mad 2: you lie, coz I told you nothing

[LiaoMi]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiyWXQyAJ44

[jj2007]

Cat vs croc: the normal end of such encounters is that the croc makes a very, very sharp, fast and surprising move

[hutch--]

Funny enough I have seen a Youtube video from South America where a big cat stalked a crocodile on a sandbank, ambushed it, killed it and dragged it off among other things through water. The croc would have been between 2 and 3 metres. The salt water crocs on the western side of the Pacific are much bigger and they can swim a long way in the sea but I have seen a battle on video between a big shark, either a bull shark or a white pointer, and a salt water croc where the shark eventually won but there was some serious biffo on the way.

[carlos]

It's monday nigth, instead of friday afternoon, but there is the geekest joke so far

When Einstein came to America, it whas hard for him to met ends, so in order to raise his income, got a job as a police in Priceton, one early nigth while he was on duty, on the outsquirts of the city, he saw a car going over 100 mph, he turned on the siren and the ligths, and the car pulled on the curb, on aproaching the car, Einstein saw that the driver was his friend Heisenberg.

"Werner, Werner, Werner, did you know how fast you where driving?" said Einstein
"As a mater of fact I do" said Heisenberg, "What I don't know is where I am" 

Have a nice week

[aw27]

Ouch!

[jj2007]

It sounds like a Friday afternoon joke, but it's real: Currently seven Australian politicians are in trouble because they are, unknowingly, citizens of another nation. Here is one who paid 25,000$ to get rid of his Iranian citizenship ;)

[hutch--]

There is an ancient expression, "Those who live by the sword, die by the sword" and this lesson has just been learnt by Barnaby Joyce, the Leader of the National Party of Australia who attacked members of other political parties over their dual citizenship only to find out that he was a dual citizen as well. As the conservative government teeters on the brink of collapse if it loses even 1 member, one can but laugh at the irony of the situation.  :P

[Raistlin]

I stole these from someplace:

1) Today I changed my password to "incorrect". So now when I forget my password, my computer will remind me, by displaying "Your password is incorrect"

2) I labelled my hard drive as "Dat ass" - so now when I logon, my computer reminds me to "Backup Dat ass"

3) Wikipedia: I know everything!
    Google: I have everything!
    Facebook: I know everybody!
    Internet: Without me you are nothing!
    Electricity: Keep talking bitches

[jj2007]

Today I changed my password to "incorrect". So now when I forget my password, my computer will remind me, by displaying "Your password is incorrect"

Lovely :t

[carlos]

This one is a true story

Several years ago,when I worked at a factory in my home town, the payroll lady keep asking me for new passwords, to log on the network (I whas sysop), since she keep forgeting them, for several months, I keep cranking clever paswords, for her, ony so she  keep forgeting, so one day I asked "what password do you want?" her  usual answer whas  "what you want", so I typed whatyouwant in her password field.

She never forget it again.