Need help with a teenager

[Raistlin]

So my boy (15 going on 16) is giving us grey hair.
Yes written on cellphone - forgive typos.
Draakie & myself are sorta, at our breaking point.
The kid has respect issues ? How to fix ?
0. He feels asking him to help out
around the house sporadically every 4 to 7 days is a massive
ask. He throws (enumerated) times in our faces
and says 'he always' helps. Then completely ignores
my and the wife's non-negotiables - the rest....
1. Air your room (open a window ever-so often). It stinks.
2. Do not stack plates, with half eaten food in your room for days on end.
3. Avoid drinking all the milk, some-one might want a cup of coffee. He physically drinks 8 liters a week.
4. Please leave no school-books or clothing on the floor. (He's lost 7 books [which we need to pay premiums for]  over the last 4 years.
Any advise ????

[jj2007]

(15 going on 16)

Yeah, that's a difficult age. I consulted my own "15 going on 16" for advice, no luck

What I could imagine is to link his weekly pocket money to a point system. Offer to double it if he gets 100 points, and zero if he gets zero points.

[Biterider]

Hi Raistlin
I had similar problems. It's a difficult age for parents, but also for the children.
Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all solution, but keep an eye on the relationship with your wife, as it can suffer from this situation too.

Biterider

[mineiro]

Any advise ????

Patience is a virtue to be conquered.

0-Say thanks when he do or not do something. In both cases.
This is based in "don't think in an elephant". I told to not think.
3-I found a challenger 

[hutch--]

Rudi,

Sounds like he is an angel like we were. 

[mikeburr]

ha ha .. welcome to parenthood ....i expect most of the aged parents on here have experienced something similar ...some options
0) buy them a car and driving lessons ... this is about as subtle as i get
1) disconnect the internet
2) help to find him/her a girlfriend/boyfriend [this could go very wrong btw]
3)  wait a year and hopefully he/she will bugger off to university with a car load of stuff
4) put your own music on very loudly for extended periods
...... > 10) is justifiable homicide but i dont think we want to go there

im sure others on this site have better strategies ?????
regards mikeb

[Raistlin]

Thanks my masters, all advice MUCH appreciated.
I really mean that. Much fuzzy stuff (more emotional)